Getting Back on Track

Wow! It has been 5 months since I last blogged! I never wanted that much time to pass by without a post, and I can't believe it has. We were without home internet for MONTHS, which kept me from blogging, but after we got it, I just never got around to blogging! =(

I'm getting back on track, though. I have to keep my friends and family apprised of my life. Plus, I need a place to verbalize my thoughts and feelings, so here goes...

1. I am married...4 months today! I love being married! It is a blast to have your best friend around all the time.

2. Being a wife requires A LOT of time. Even though Phil helps around the house, as the wife I feel it is my responsibility to cook dinner and keep the house clean. I think it's just innate in women.

3. I miss my family like CRAZY! I hate not having Hannah to run errands with me. I miss my dad always calling me into the living room to show me the latest YouTube video. I miss my mom showing me all her good grocery deals. I miss the smell of Zac's cooking (even though he never let me eat any of it!). I even miss Carlie always being excited to see me when I walked through the door. You truly never know what you have until you don't have it anymore.

4. I miss Souls Harbor. No church will ever be the same. I miss working for Pastor Jason and doing my best to make sure every thing went smoothly. I miss Souls Harbor more than I can possibly put into words. Belleview::don't ever take it for granted.

5. One thing about being married is you don't keep in as much contact with your friends. They don't call you because they don't want to "bother" you, and you don't call them because your mind is consumed with all the responsibilities of your spouse. I have to do better with that. Summer, Ashley, Datha, Alonda, Christina, Maydee, and Amy...I miss and love you guys.

6. Budgeting and meal planning is fun. But I should have known that...I'm a Billingsley. All I've ever known is budgeting. We used to have lots of silent dinners and we listened to Larry Burkett advise my parents on financial matters through radio waves.

7. Slow cookers are a woman's best friend. I already have 4 (one for each month of marriage =)), and I use one of them at least weekly. (I used 2 today!)

8. It can be lonely being a minister's wife. What am I supposed to do while he studies? I can only do so much housework. I've decided to take up a few more hobbies...hopefully they won't be too expensive.

9. Date nights are fun, but they are expensive. After we had our most expensive date night since we got married, we laughed at the fact that it cost us the same amount as 3 weeks of groceries. Ouch. Good thing we don't do that often. One of our favorite past times is watching a movie or playing games together on Sunday afternoons while eating fresh, hot cookies (which only cost $.33 for 16 I might add - thanks, Mom, for the sales and coupons tutorials!). Time together doesn't have to be costly....just time together.

10. It's been 4 months of marriage...and I don't want kids yet. I'd consider that a success.

Ten thoughts for the evening should be enough. I promise to pick up the pen (figuratively) sooner than later. Cheerio!

Sink Holes and Heart Holes

When I was a school-aged child, my mother took us to Lake Lillian Park often. During one of our visits, she showed us a huge sink hole on the edge of the park. The sinkhole is the size of a couple residential houses combined, and is deeper than I can see. Ever since I saw that sinkhole, I have had an EXTREME fear of sinkholes. I have had fears of waking up underground, fears of walking and the ground falling out under me, and fears of the roof collapsing on me.

Well, about 2 weeks ago, my fear came true. WE HAVE A SINKHOLE UNDER OUR HOUSE! RIGHT UNDER MY BEDROOM! I could not believe it. When my dad told me about it, I thought he was teasing me because he knew of my fear. But he wasn't! The sinkhole is big, deep, dark, and scary. We are in the process of having geologists, engineers, concrete guys, and an array of other people examine/work on/fix the sink whole, but no solution has been reached yet. Ughh...thank God I am getting married next week, because I would not be able to deal with living over a sink hole for the rest of my life.

As I type this, I am sitting in Panera Bread near my new house. It is hard to call it my new "home," because my childhood house will always be home in my heart. My dad and I drove down here last night: he is redoing our closets and I signed paperwork on a teaching job today. Driving around a new town by myself is kind of fun. I get to discover where I will grocery shop, buy office supplies, mail packages, and tan. I get to map out the quickest routes to Target, TJMaxx, and Starbucks. I get to find a new running route. I am trying to find as many happy points as possible, because the truth is, as my wedding nears, holes in my heart are starting to appear. With only 12 days left, I am valuing every moment with my family, friends, and church so much more. Last night was the last time I will sing with the Souls Harbor Sanctuary Choir, and the realization of that almost killed me. As I train my replacement, my heart breaks, because I love Pastor Jason and Sis. Hollina so much, and I do not want to let go of them. I love Phil Locke, and I cannot wait to be his bride, and I know he will do his best to replace everything I am leaving, but it will take time. My family and church as invested over 23 years into me, and our attachments run deep.

So sorry for the depressing post. I really am excited! The wedding is approaching, and my childhood dream of marrying the love of my life is almost fulfilled. I look forward to seeing my family and friends next Saturday, and I know God has more in store for Phil and me than I can even imagine.

A great lady once told me that she was not able to stop trusting God, because she was "so stinking nosy," and she was always wondering what He had waiting for her around the next bend. I feel like her right now. I am a little apprehensive about turning the corner, but with God and Phil by my side, I know everything will be ok.

Life Changing

Sometimes I forget how much my life is about to change, but sometimes it hits me like a freight train: I am about to get married. Every aspect of my life is changing: I will be a wife, I am moving to a new city, I moving to a new house, I am changing churches, I am changing professions, I am leaving behind my family, I am leaving behind my friends, and I will be living with someone new. With the simple phrase, "I do," pretty much all of my life is changing. Never before have I felt such an urgency to rely on God. He is the only way I am going to seamlessly transition into this new stage of my life.

I was planning on ending my vegetarian lifestyle the past few months, but part of me wants to hold on to it. I have been a vegetarian for 9.5 years, and it has become such a part of me. In a time of all this change, I really don't want to change something else...I feel like I would be losing part of me. Stopping my vegetarian lifestyle would be easier for Phil & me: I could cook one meal for both of us, but I don't think I am ready to voluntarily change something else. I don't know...maybe I am.

As of tonight, I have 41 days left. Sometimes, I really don't know how I am going to do it. I still have my job (which I love, but it is life consuming!), a week of camp, Hadassah, and so much more. If you go to Souls Harbor, please take pity on me. If I seem distracted or disoriented, I probably am. Just pat me on the back and smile.

I am excited about all of my life changes, but I am wary too...I really don't know what life holds.

All Alone!

I can't believe that I didn't post at all during April! I got so busy, and I forgot to chronicle our times together. =( So here goes!

Thankfully I got to see Phil for Easter. Over the Easter break, Phil & I registered at Target and Bed, Bath, & Beyond. We had so much fun picking out our appliances and household items; it was one of my favorite parts of the engagement so far (right up there with wedding dress shopping). I realized why it was my favorite part: it was basically the only thing that I've been able to do with Phil. I've really enjoyed all of the wedding planning, but it stinks being without Phil. I wish we were assembling invitations together...I wish he knew what the wedding flowers looked like...I wish, I wish, I wish. But, thankfully, I get to share all of my experiences and the things I buy with Phil on Skype. Again, I say, thank GOD for video chatting!

Everybody that knows me knows that I am not usually an emotional person, but, oh my, this wedding is turning me into a crybaby! Everything is sentimental to me! I had my last dentist appointment with the best hygienist in the whole world last week. I just participated in my last Pastoral Celebration. I bought the last "from all three of us" Mothers' Day card that I will ever buy today. (Next year, Zac & Han are on their own. =)) Waterworks almost broke out in the middle of Target! I started buying bridesmaids' gifts today. I am so excited to me marrying the man of my dreams, but I still get sad!

I try to combat this sadness with work! I'm staying busy in Florida preparing for Touch the Future, and Phi's in St. Louis finishing up his las week of Gateway! I fly up to see him on Friday: my last flight to St. Louis! I cannot wait for us to be in the same time zone. (I really need to go to bed earlier!) He'll probably be out of town for a few weeks in June, but knowing that he is done with Gateway is so exciting. It makes our wedding seem so much closer.

As the wedding draws closer, I promise to blog more. I really want to share what is going on in our lives, so that when I leave the best church in the whole entire world, everybody can still know what is going on in the "New" Life of Phillip and Taylor.

Two quick notes: I call it life (not lives), because once we are married we are "one." Just had to clarify that for all the grammar freaks (like myself.) Also...notice all the hyperlinks? My first post with them. Yea for learning!

Easter Sunday

Phil registering (he got to use the gun the most)!

Taylor registering!

My Turn!

Well, Alonda's wedding is over, so now I get to concentrate on my own wedding! Yea! Although I have enjoyed the little bit of wedding planning I've already done, now that I'm done concentrating on her wedding, I'm FINALLY REALLY excited about planning my own! It's only 108 days away!!! AHH!!!

I'm meeting with my bestie, SA, and my buds, D&B, tomorrow to decide on decorations and reception food. I looked at some wedding cakes today, and I think I pretty much know what kind I want. My wedding program is pretty much complete. We've decided on songs. We've picked out engagement pictures. Oh, how I love actually completing things and crossing them off of my list.

Please keep us in your prayers over the next couple of months. I want to accomplish things as soon as possible. I want to enjoy the wedding planning process, and if I have to do a lot of stuff the week of the wedding, I will be stressed out. (The Lord knows I'm worried enough about finding a home and job!) I covet your prayers...all of you!

The Men in My Life

I've always heard that a girl will tend to marry a man similar to her own father.  I always wondered how true this would be for me, and I have decided that it is the case for me.  Although Phil and my father are not exactly alike, they have many of the same qualities: humorous, fun-loving, leadership minded, friendly, and the list goes on and on.  (What can I say, they are WONDERFUL men!)  But I just realized the one characteristic that they both have that makes me love each man with my whole heart: they do their best to take care of me no matter what and whenever they can.  (I just started crying as I wrote that line.)

My dad has always been there for me.  Whenever we needed him as children, we could ALWAYS call him up at work.  He solved our problems, listened to our stories, and would just let us say hi.  If we ever needed anything, he did his very best to make sure we had it.  No matter how tight money was, he never wanted us to want for anything, so he was always sacrificing.  As we grew older, he always took care of our dirty work...filing our taxes, helping us find jobs, talking to people that intimidated us, taking our cars to the shop, etc.  Don't get me wrong, we're not spoiled, and my dad never let us get out of anything, he just made sure we weren't doing it alone.  When he did take care of things for us, usually we were right there with him, watching and learning.  I remember one time I had a flat tire late at night.  My dad came where I was stranded, and instead of changing the tire for me, he made me change it while he watched.  He wanted to make sure I would be able to take care of myself if I ever needed to.  I remember a few times I've been housesitting, and I've become scared, so my father has driven over to where I was to check everything out, even when it was the middle of the night.  Most currently, I have been having a reoccurring car problem, and even though the dealership is an hour away, my father has taken my car there 4 times....and has to go back again on Friday.  I just didn't understand why my father does all of this for us, until he recently said, "Taylor, that's what fathers do."  (Ahh!  I'm crying again!)  What love my father has for me and my siblings.

This "will do anything for me no matter what" attitude is one of the characteristics about Phil that I love so much.  Phil is simply amazing.  He is able to do anything he puts his mind to: he can build anything, he can fix cars, he is a technological wizard, he is super smart, and when he has mind set on something, he doesn't give up.  Whenever I have a computer problem or question, Phil takes care of it right away.  Whenever I want a new program, Phil finds it for me.  Whenever I ask him to research something, he does it immediately.  Last night, I mentioned that I couldn't upload a song because it was in the wrong format.  A few minutes later, I asked him what he was doing, and he replied that he was finding out how to convert song formats for me!  I was so happy and amazed!  I hadn't even asked him to do that!  This is only one of the many, many instances he has taken care of my needs.  He takes care of whatever I need, whenever I need it.  When I am lonely, I can call Phil, and he will talk to me even if he's busy.  When I am sad or worried, he does everything he can to subside my fears.  Phil does whatever he can to make me happy.  I am so blessed to be marrying Phillip Locke.

Some women probably go their whole lives without one man like this in their lives, but I have been blessed with two men like this.  First, my father, who has been my refuge for 23 years, and now, Phil, who will be there for me for the rest of my life.  So, yes, I do think a woman will marry someone like her father.  Hopefully, she is lucky enough to have a father and husband like mine.  I love you, Jeff Billingsley and Phillip Locke.

My Love for Fridays

I LOVE FRIDAYS!  They are absolutely my favorite day of the week.  Just knowing that the weekend is starting is so wonderful.  I can stay up as late as I want to on Friday nights, because the next day is "sleep-in Saturday."  Most people like Saturdays best, but, since I've joined my church's staff, Saturday has become a "prepare mentally for Sunday" day.  Don't get me wrong, I love Sundays, and I love church, but I no longer get to enjoy carefree Saturdays like most everybody else.  So, I love FRIDAYS!

Tomorrow is going to be a great Friday!  My sister and I are going to Orlando for SUSHI & SHOPPING!  Two of our favorite things.  Hannah's birthday is Sunday, and we are doing some early celebrating.  This is my time I'll be at home for Hannah's birthday, and I hope the weekend is special for all of us.  The closer my wedding comes, the more I value every moment I have with my family.  They are precious, and I'm going to miss them so much!

Single...for the Last Time

Last night, I did something that I will never have to do again (God willing)...I filed my taxes as a "single."  The next time I file, I happily get to check the box "Married filing jointly!"  I got a little giddy inside as I thought about being married (as I often do).  The next five months are going to be filled with crazy days, trying to get everything just perfect for the wedding, but I hope I remember to take notice of the simple things and savor the experiences of all the "last times I get to do this while I'm single."  Silly?  Perhaps.  But my life is about to change in a big way, and even though I am excited about the change, I know life will be very different, and things will never go back to how they are now.  So even though I'm stoked beyond all belief to be marrying the love of my life, I'm trying my best not to wish time away...I want to revel in my last moments with my family and friends.    

Wedding Dress

I went wedding dress shopping with my mother, Hannah, Summer, & Datha today, and I found my wedding dress!  Yea!  It took a little while, but I finally found one I like!  I really enjoyed dress shopping more than I thought I would...you get to try on as many dresses as you want to, and the bridal consultants just keep smiling!  =)  I had a really great consultant named Mary.  She was so nice and made the whole day so enjoyable.  I tried on lots of dresses, and within 3 hours, I paid for the one I wanted...it's hanging up in my room as I type this.

After I found my dress, I asked if I could try on a really fluffy dress just for the fun of it!  It was so big, I could hide my entire bridal party under it!  =)  I knew it would look really silly on me, but I'm only getting married once, and I felt like I would miss part of the experience if I didn't at least try one on.  I hope you like the picture of me in it!  I had to blur parts of it, because my arms are showing.  ;)

So, the day was wonderful, but I am so glad to have my dress bought.  A really big worry taken care of...yea!!!

Fireproof!

I saw the movie Fireproof tonight, and it was AMAZING!  Our pastor showed it at our midweek service, and what a wonderful idea.  The movie had so many good points; I really think it gave all married people (and people like me who are about to be married!) something to think about.  Of of my favorite lines in the movie was, "You never leave your partner, especially during the fire."  This was first said to a fireman, but then repeated to a spouse.  How true that is.  Although I am not married yet, I have watched many couples, and when things got rough (financially, spiritually, physically), their marriages got rocky.  I assume marriage is much easier when life is progressing smoothly, but I hope I always remember that when turbulence comes, that's when Phil needs me and I need him the most.  Nothing - EXCEPT JESUS - is a cure all for marriages, but I highly recommend Fireproof: it will give you ideas and hope.  Now, I know I am not married and know close to zilch about marriage, but I am doing the best I can by reading marriage books before my marriage actually begins...that way I can avoid as many problems as possible.  That said, I highly recommend Love & Respect to all couples.  This book is for men and women, and it will show you how to portray love to your spouse.  It has changed the marriages of many couples around me, and I am so excited that Phil & I were able to read it before we got married.  One of my best friends just told me today that after I recommended the book to her, she did the same to a friend of hers, who called her bawling the other day telling her what a wonderful book it was and how much it changed her life.  Buy it!  Read it!  You'll love it!

On another note, I miss Phil tonight!  =(  He's shoveling snow in the middle of the night, so I do not get to video chat, and I don't like it!  I like seeing him right before I go to bed.  I like my I love you and goodnights.  Take pity on me...I'm lonely!

The Cycle Continues

In September 2004, I quizzed my last quiz as a Senior Bible Quizzer.  At the Prayer and Share Service in Salt Lake City, I mentioned how I would like to be the Senior Bible Quiz Coordinator for Florida one day.

Well, today, that dream has been fulfilled.  I quizmastered my first tournament, and it was so much fun.  I always knew I would enjoy quizmastering...it's not the idea of being in charge, but it's the fun of getting to decide the accurateness of the quizzers and questions.  I made a few mistakes, and I've already learned so much, but I am so happy to be involved in such a wonderful ministry.  Bible Quizzing helped mold me into the lady I am today, and I would not be who I was if not for it.

I can't wait to see how Bible Quiz is going to improve these next couple of years!  

Ageist

This is what my mother so often calls me.  She says I'm prejudice against people older than me.  Sometimes I think she's right.  Older people do frustrate me more...I feel that since they are older, they should know everything, but so often, they don't.  I know I'm unfairly judging them, but it's so hard to stop.  Really, what frustrates me most, is slow people (talkers, walkers, doers, you name it), and unfortunately most people who fall into this category tend to be what I consider "older."

Well, I've come to realize that it's not just me!  My generation is full of ageists!  When someone is driving slow, we say that they are driving like a grandma.  We abstain from going to certain stores and restaurants because they are always full of "old" people.  When some place smells funny, it's said that it smells like a old person's home.  Being around this kind of behavior only stems more ageist comments.

But, I've also realized that my generation needs to give the older generation a break.  And I thank Facebook for my realization.  Upon joining Facebook, I was astonished at all the "old" people on the site.   In my mind, Facebook (and other social sites) were for teenagers & college students, NOT mommies and daddies of teenagers and college students.  It aggravated me that these people joined these sites to "be cool and fit in."  It hit me then, that I've got to give these people a break.  So often we berate the older generation for not staying up with the times and being technologically savvy.  There on Facebook, our parents are trying to do both. 

So my fellow young readers, let's relax.  It feels a little silly to be communicating with our parents on Facebook, but at least they're trying.  I'd much rather my parents be on Facebook, then avoid all things technological any day!   

I LOVE Technology

As I type this, I am surfing Facebook, making notes on my computer's stickies, video chatting with Phil, and playing virtual scrabble with him.  Oh, how I love technology!  Even though my fiance' is over 12 hours away, it's almost like he's right here with me...except I can't kiss him! =(  We've been dating over a year (we talked for a few months before then), and he has lived in St. Louis the entire time.  If it wasn't for video chatting, I don't know if I would have survived.  I can tell you for certain, though, that our relationship is much stronger than it would have been without this daily face-to-face conversation.

As much as I am going to miss my family and friends when I move to Fort Myers, I am so thankful for outlets like Facebook and blogs that will allow me to keep in touch them.  I don't want to miss out on any parts of their lives, and I hope they don't want to miss out on mine either!

Pet Peeve

I hate being told what I'm going to do.  Not in the way that a parent tells their child what he/she is going to do, but in the way that people think they know exactly how my life is going to turn out.  I hate it when people tell me that I will have pets one day, or I will have children soon, or my feelings about yada yada yada will change...and the list goes on and on.  Almost nothing turns me off more than when someone makes a declaration like this about my life.  It absolutely bugs me!  It almost makes me want to purposely not do whatever they said I will do.  Who knows if God will give me a child before I plan on one?  Who knows when I'll get a pet?  Who knows when I'll like bananas?  I don't know, just as these nonsense speakers don't know.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is my rant for the month.  Check in tomorrow for happy thoughts!

6th Bridesmaid Dress

Yep, as of March 20, I'll have been in 6 weddings: Kasi's, Summer's, Amy's, Maydee's, Barbra's, & Alonda's.  I've accumulated lots of dresses, some of which I've worn again and some that continue to collect dust in my closet.

Tonight was bridesmaid dress shopping for Alonda, and I'm proud to say that we completed the task!  It's certainly the most interesting wedding ensemble I've worn, but with Alonda's touch, I'm sure it will look fantastic (or at least I hope it will, because I don't want to look stupid walking down the aisle!).  As we were shopping tonight, I reflected on all the wonderful friends I have.  I consider it a privilege to have been in so many weddings.  I hope it is a reflection of the true friend I endeavor to be.

As I prepare to move away in 6 months, I hope I take advantage of the last few memories I can make with my friends and family.  The older I grow, the more I realize how important my family and true friends really are.

I'm a Blogger!

I'm a faithful reader of many blogs, and I finally decided to create one myself!  Although this blog is written by me, Taylor Shay Billingsley, it will depict the life of myself and my fiance, Phillip Andrew Locke.  Yes, I am engaged to the most wonderful man in the world, but more about that later.  =)

The main purpose of this blog is to have a way to keep in touch with my family and friends, as I will be moving away in July.  I decided that this was the easiest way to share stories and pictures of the life Phil & I will be starting on our own.

Grab your coffee and hang in there with me as I figure out this whole blog thingy!  =)