When I was a school-aged child, my mother took us to Lake Lillian Park often. During one of our visits, she showed us a huge sink hole on the edge of the park. The sinkhole is the size of a couple residential houses combined, and is deeper than I can see. Ever since I saw that sinkhole, I have had an EXTREME fear of sinkholes. I have had fears of waking up underground, fears of walking and the ground falling out under me, and fears of the roof collapsing on me.
Well, about 2 weeks ago, my fear came true. WE HAVE A SINKHOLE UNDER OUR HOUSE! RIGHT UNDER MY BEDROOM! I could not believe it. When my dad told me about it, I thought he was teasing me because he knew of my fear. But he wasn't! The sinkhole is big, deep, dark, and scary. We are in the process of having geologists, engineers, concrete guys, and an array of other people examine/work on/fix the sink whole, but no solution has been reached yet. Ughh...thank God I am getting married next week, because I would not be able to deal with living over a sink hole for the rest of my life.
As I type this, I am sitting in Panera Bread near my new house. It is hard to call it my new "home," because my childhood house will always be home in my heart. My dad and I drove down here last night: he is redoing our closets and I signed paperwork on a teaching job today. Driving around a new town by myself is kind of fun. I get to discover where I will grocery shop, buy office supplies, mail packages, and tan. I get to map out the quickest routes to Target, TJMaxx, and Starbucks. I get to find a new running route. I am trying to find as many happy points as possible, because the truth is, as my wedding nears, holes in my heart are starting to appear. With only 12 days left, I am valuing every moment with my family, friends, and church so much more. Last night was the last time I will sing with the Souls Harbor Sanctuary Choir, and the realization of that almost killed me. As I train my replacement, my heart breaks, because I love Pastor Jason and Sis. Hollina so much, and I do not want to let go of them. I love Phil Locke, and I cannot wait to be his bride, and I know he will do his best to replace everything I am leaving, but it will take time. My family and church as invested over 23 years into me, and our attachments run deep.
So sorry for the depressing post. I really am excited! The wedding is approaching, and my childhood dream of marrying the love of my life is almost fulfilled. I look forward to seeing my family and friends next Saturday, and I know God has more in store for Phil and me than I can even imagine.
A great lady once told me that she was not able to stop trusting God, because she was "so stinking nosy," and she was always wondering what He had waiting for her around the next bend. I feel like her right now. I am a little apprehensive about turning the corner, but with God and Phil by my side, I know everything will be ok.
